Ok, the time is nigh for merry making and reflective thought and I have like nine days to post this stuff before our online editor has a conniption and his face explodes all over my LONG overdue, “8 of 08″ post.
Since many a momentous event occurred this year, I’m talking SEISMIC, history-altering shit, I have chosen not to pan out, taking in the big picture and then pontificating on the meaning with a wisdom and understanding that belies my youngish age. Instead, I will don blinders and focus to a puzzling degree of myopia to mull on the minutia of some Truly Dumb Shit. Then we can discuss how magical it is that certain people in the free world get to evade Darwinism.
And go!
Super unsurprising news #8:
When: April 2008.
What: Pinkberry, not as good for you as previously thought by people wearing Christian Audigier jeans tucked into their Uggs. The owners reach a settlement to the tune of $750,000 for the class action lawsuit filed last year.
the devil's cup
Rant: Ok, I would love nothing more than to support the work of my fellow Koreans, let alone EXTREMELY RICH Koreans toting the Amex plum card (how you doin’?), BUT I don’t really understand the people who allowed themselves to be hoodwinked into thinking this $5 lacto-grog was really all that good for them. The sheer number of people who simultaneously think Juicy Couture is real couture and that 20 calories per ounce meant their mochi-laden, granola green tea clusterfuck of faux-yo was only, like 40-ish calories is astounding.
This is who I imagine eats this stuff. I resent thinking of this girl even in my imaginings because she is gross.
Lesson: If it has a cult following with a frenzy akin to the “vibe” at Branch Davidian, be immediately suspicious. And eat only readily identifiable food items that aren’t created by science and stabilizers. I don’t go around eating fistfuls of Pepperoni Pizza-flavored Combos thinking the cheese in it will prevent osteoporosis. Even if that’s where some cancer research money should go in ’09. Greedy oncology sector.
Go for broke. Fudgey tastes like you shouldn't eat him every day. Unless you do. And you haven't gone outside in four years because you are seven hundred pounds.
