You can chant “I Want My MTV!” all you want, but this is not the 1980′s and Downtown Julie Brown is no longer your inappropriate crush. So, your plea will never again bring about the nostalgic images of Prince’s “assless chaps” performance at the networks awards show in 1991 or of the recently-rehabbed Tawny Kitaen, clad in a sheer white robe, writhing on a car in the Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” video.

In fact, your cries will now grant you unwanted overexposure to an abundance of weakly-scripted, painfully-executed “reality” shows. Even Total Request Live, the only remaining glint of hope for music lovers, has turned sour. The first 30 seconds of every music video featured on the show is cut and deemed useless—as is the last minute and a half – so as to make time for the audience’s incessant screaming. Please note: This audience always includes weeping teenage girls that idolize such seasoned artists as Donnie Klang.

Unfortunately, not even that avid fanbase (the ones who catapulted N*SYNC into fame) can help sustain the “music” in “Music Television.” TRL’s final show will premiere November 16.

At last year’s MTV Video Music Awards, Justin Timberlake refused to accept the Male Artist of the Year award from The Hills‘ leading lady (and script-reader extraordinaire), Lauren Conrad. In fact, after she announced his win, a no-name “she” walked the stage, and handed the moonman to him instead. He, then, later in the show challenged the network to play more music videos.

We all know that when Timberlake speaks, the world listens. And so did MTV. Well, kind of. They’ve launched mtvmusic.com, a new online catalog that finally opens up its massive video archive to the public. They’ve selfishly (and finally!) offered us their 16,000+ music videos, “Unplugged” performances, and exclusive concert footage and commentaries. It’s free and easy-to-use. The vids are in high-res. And the site is updated daily.

I’m satisfied, and you will be too. Take heed, however, as hours upon hours will be lost when you really should be working. Or tending to your kid. Or whatever. - Danielle Cheesman