Of all the confounding couplings in the history of conjugation, this one may take the cake. Not only is the, by all objective accounts, “meh” looking Gina Salamino, 37, bumping her ugliest of ugly with the junk of this BEYOND GORGE male MODEL, Joshua Water, 19—she met him when he was 12 [human] years old.

As if that was lacking in GONZO, the couple is living together in Queens with their CHILD.

The icing, however, has to be that Salamino, a teacher at PS 121, upon getting shit-canned for sexual misconduct is now suing the Department of Education. USA! To all this, the child bride lothario Walter has responded, “I’m tapping that ass and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Yes, these people are populating. Hopefully the sapling of this unholy union will at least be pretty or at least as gloriously articulate as the father. Go sex!