Max Payne
I didn’t think there could be a worse cop movie than Righteous Kill released in ’08, but the big-screen version of the popular video game proved me wrong. Like most game-based-movies, the filmmakers had no idea how to turn Max Payne into a three-act film with an intelligible plot and compelling emotional arcs for the characters. The movie mainly consists of Mark Wahlberg walking the streets of Toronto (standing in—badly—for New York) alternately looking constipated, blowing bad guys away or blowing bad guys away while looking constipated. If the action sequences were halfway decent, I might have been able to excuse the lameness of the rest of the movie, but director John Moore has no idea how to choreograph or light the film’s murky, confusing gun battles. Max Panye may not be the worst video game movie ever made—that honor still goes to Super Mario Bros. and anything by Uwe Boll—but its pretty damn close.
Click here to see my #4 pick
