Yesterday, the Philadelphia Daily News reported a seriously hilarious arrest involving gay porn stars – TWINS! – who were arrested for hopping through roofs and robbing shops in the downtown Philly area. So if you’re in a store and you have a limited amount of time to steal stuff – oh, and you’re a gay porn star – what do you steal?
Cash, cigarettes, and condoms, obviously.
Some highlights of this hilarious story:
- While many rob bars and convenience stores and the like, these two dudes hit up a beauty salon and an adjacent chicken shack. Sigh.
- The newspaper article gives an inexplicably detailed account of Mike and the Twins, the gay porn the brothers starred in. The details have nothing to do with the robbery; I guess maybe the author was just doing thorough “research.”
- The “bad” twin, Taleon, has apparently been picked up for stuff before, one highlighted story recounting the time he was arrested for crack cocaine and proceeded to break out of the cop car by HEAD BUTTING THE WINDOW, then swimming across a pond, still handcuffed, “like Flipper,” and taunted the officers while doing it, going, “you’ll never catch me!”
Something about a gay man yelling “you’ll never catch me!” while running reminded me of Greased-Up Deaf Guy on Family Guy, and I really wanted to post a video of that, but Fox has infiltrated the internet and taken away all of our happiness the Greased Up Deaf Guy clips. But I DID find this one, which isn’t the original golden nugget that was GUDG’s introduction on the show, but it suffices:
