Everyone has morning breath, even when you brush, floss, and gargle at night. Those who say they don’t are not only lying to you, but you clearly have not slept in the same room/bed/apartment with them. So when I was offered to take Therabreath‘s Morning Breath Challenge, I obviously thought it was straight bullshit.
I’m a hardcore breath snob – the bad breath of others offends me, so I’m constantly chewing gum or mints to make sure I’m not being a super hypocrite. So Therabreath created a system that guarantees the elimination of bad breath, and I’m thinking, either this really is crap, or it’s made of something I probably shouldn’t be putting in my mouth. However, after the first day I brushed with the Oxygenating Fresh Breath Toothpaste and gargled with the Oxygenating Fresh Breath Oral Rinse, I really did wake up the next morning tasting absolutely nothing. I am so completely not kidding. So I decided to stick it out for a couple days, chewing the gum and whathaveyou, to see if this was the real deal or some one-trick pony that would give me a mouth infection or something janky like that.
The verdict? Everything was incredible, except for the floss – but that’s only because it’s not waxed, and my teeth are super, super tight (anyone with close teeth will know that unwaxed floss = struggle and misery). The toothpaste and mouthwash, oddly enough, taste like absolutely nothing. I thought that was a little strange, but then I actually enjoyed being able to drink orange juice in the morning without cringing from that funky post-brush taste. And, though I regularly use Listerine, it still burns, and I still hate it, and was quite glad to end that abusive relationship.
I also thought mints didn’t taste that great, but I also hate the taste of vanilla. So I gave them to my friend Christian without telling him what they tasted like, and he loved them, so I’m pretty sure it’s just me being picky.
However, unless you and whoever you’re sleeping with are both using the Therabreath system, it’s key to remember that only one of you will wake up with awesome breath. So don’t get all excited and then nauseated when Captain Morning Breath leans in for a quickie.
Therabreath Fresh Breath Starter Kit, $9.99, Walgreens, April 2008.
