Most actors and singers have had to do crap work while on the come-up – Mariah Carey was a hair sweeper in a salon, and even rapper Eve was a stripper back in the day – but being a $5k-an-hour escort as your side hustle must take some real… talent. Someone give this ho a recording contract for her troubles!
Eliot Spitzer’s now-infamous prostitute “Kristen” has finally been revealed as Ashley Alexandra Dupré, an aspiring singer whose song isn’t that great but clips are already getting spin time on local radio stations here in New York.
Like a lot of artists, she’s got a sob story, so while everyone’s burning Spitzer at the stake, the nation’s soon to be all, “womp womp, she became a classy ho cause she had a shitty, unclassy home life, let’s listen to her song.” And I’m willing to bet that once it’s in our ears enough, homegirl will be one of 2008′s most fantastical one-hit wonders.
I’m a little torn, though. I wanna trash her, obviously, cause it’s easy but at the same time I’m womp-womping her crappy home life just like everybody else. I mean, according to her, she did have it pretty tough. And I guess working for an elite ‘tute ring is better than her being some Side Street Sally, hanging in car windows and selling poon for crack or something. However, she’s really a very pretty girl. Maybe she could have done some commercial modeling or something. Alls I know is, for $5k an hour, she should teach a sex class or some shit – there are clearly more than a few tricks up her sleeve.
