It’s evident in Hip-Hop and R&B that punch lines are important, i.e-”Guess it’s a G thing, whenever we swing, imma need Coretta Scott if I’m gon’ be king!”- Fabolous- “Make Me Better.” See how word play turns into a memorable line? The metaphors in music make you think, and then smile once you figure out how clever the metaphors actually are in meaning. The following celebs have something in common. They’ve had some great lyrics, but there have been times when the celebs have also said something foolish. So, here’s a look at their best and their worst.

Victim #1:
Nicki Minaj- 2009 BET Awards Cypher vs. “Freaky Girl”

“Mac & cheese, six friend chicken her guts, and I’m killing these b*tches by fucking it up!”- Huh?
vs. “Sex game chinky, n*ggas call me Pinky, I f*ck with president’s I am Nicki Lewinsky”

Victim #2:

T-Pain- “Bartender” vs. “Can’t Believe It”

“She made us drinks to drink, we drunk em, got drunk”- Really, cause usually that’s what happens when you drink alcohol.
vs. “I put you in the beach house right on the edge of Costa Rica put one of em lil’ flowers in your hair have you looking like a fly mamacita (Fuego)”

Victim #3:
Mariah Carey- “Obsessed” vs. “Hate U”

“Got you all fired up with your Napolean Complex, seeing right through you like your bathing in Windex”- Sounds like something corny Mariah would say.
vs. “we went round for round til’ we knocked love out you were laying in the ring, not making a sound and if that’s a metaphore of you and I,why is it so hard to say goodbye?”

Victim #4:
Yung Joc- “First Time” vs. “It’s Going Down”

“I see she up on top,you all on my jock, imma do it nonstop, until your cherry pop,imma keep going and going, the energizer bunny,Mr. long john all in your tummy”- Is it her first time having sex, or the first time ya’ll had sex together? And if she was a virgin- real sensitive of you.
vs. “Cubes on my neck, pocket full of Ben Frank, when I’m in the mall hoes just pause. I pop a few tags, give me that on the wall”

Chris Brown- “Aint No Way” vs. “Wall To Wall”

“I can show you all the things I’ll do.Break your heart, never raise my voice.”- Show me that you’ll break my heart?
vs. “One said she like the way I pop, the other said she wanna just watch! I’m game for any damn thing”

Victim #6:
Shaq- “I Know I Got Skillz” vs. ” Where Ya At?”

“I lean on the statue of liberty when I get tired, than I’ll punch you in the stomach, I don’t give a heck, (hey yo, why you bug a hooker like that?) yo, she breated on my neck” -Well, we can tell your tall, but hooker abuse?
vs. “I’m sure they’ll say me brother please don’t play me like a shrimp dunk it on your head then I’ll point like Shawn Kemp don’t need the drink crooked I juice to get loose my favorite cartoon is Bullwinkle the Moose.”- Ok they’re both bad but it’s Shaq so, hey!

Victim #7:
Nelly-”My Place” vs. “Dilemma”

“I heard your friend told a friend that told a friend of mine that u was thinkin that we should do it one more time.If this ain’t the truth,then hopefully its not a lie”- If it’s not the truth than it’s a lie Nelly-Point Blank!
vs. “I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me and uhh, she got the hots for me the finest thing my hood did see but oh no, oh no, she gotta a man and a son, doh’ohhh, but that’s okay cause I, wait for my cue and just listen, play my position like a shortstop, pick up e’rything mami hittin”

Victim #8:
New Boys- “You’re A Jerk” vs. “New Girl”

“Like the new ipod just touch it and turn her on and when the bass start beatin and the waist I’m beatin”- You’re like ten/a virgin.
vs. “No jokes, no games im feeling you a whole lot. I ran into you and no turns it was a road block. Thinking to myself i had one of em in the past that didnt last. A chick with no class it was so bad. ”

Victim #9:
Neyo-”Mirror” vs. “When You’re Mad”

“Now mama please don’t think me strange for what I’m about to say (please don’t think me strange) If you know anything bout me by now you know I’m a freak just follow my lead.”- Talking about a man or a woman?
vs. “Want to, but I can’t help it. I love the way it feels, it’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real. I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won’t”

Victim #10:
Camron-”Get em’ Girl” vs. “Hey Ma”

“I get the boasters boasting, I get computers putting. Y’all get shot at, call me, I do the shooting I’m moving the movement. Whether buddist or budah, that’s judist or judah I got luger to ruger, hit from Roota to Toota. Chick from hooter to hooter, I roll mostly dolly I’ll leave you wholy, holy, you’ll say ‘Holy Moly’”
vs. “Now That I got a girl, my Ex wanna holla and spit, told me to acknowledge her quick she like Cam stop frontin’ on that Dave Hollister Tip.”

Whelp! Everyone can’t be Jay-Z all day!

If T-Pain’s circus buffoonery wasn’t enough, how about him coming at Jigga to tickle your fancy? It has been revealed via Fabolous’ twitter that Mr. Pain was taking shots at Jay’s (old) age. It might be Jay’s “DOA” track that got the ball rolling, but sorry T-Pain, if your’re not Nas, then don’t try your luck.

In this matchup there’s no contest. 

Winner: Jay-Z

T-Pain at Rehab in Los Vegas:

2. Eminem vs. Mariah & Nick

Eminem may be lyrically devastating but Mariah embarrassed him in the “Obsessed” video (Come on, he got hit by a bus!). Slim Shady tried to save face by coming back at  at Mariah and Mr. Canon but at least Nick can last in the bedroom.

Winner: Mariah

Eminem-”The Warning”

3. Nelly vs. KRS-1

Nelly a.k.a Dr. Seuss wouldn’t understand lyrical content if it slapped off his Band-Aid. Good thing this beef didn’t get onto the Jay-Z and Nas level or Nelly may not even have a career. 

Winner: Nelly

KRS-1- “Ova Here” (Nelly Diss)

Nelly- “Roc The Mic Remix”(KRS-1 Diss)

4. Suge Knight vs. Diddy

Whether it be about East Coast vs. West Coast, or Biggie vs. 2 Pac, these two have gone back and forth for years. Suge Knight has bullied and patronized Puff since 94′. Suge recently got knocked the f*ck out by some barber dude and hasn’t been seen since. Good for Diddy,now he can dance in his artist’s video all he wants!

Winner: Diddy

 Suge Knight at the Source Awards (94′)

5. Kanye vs. The Paparazzi

 Three words Kanye. GET OVER IT! The paparazzi have been here before, and will be here after you.

Winner: Paparazzi ( They don’t quit!) 

Kanye vs. Paparazzi

6.  50 Cent vs. Everyone

50 cent has no life and too much money, period point blank! If he isn’t coming at someone’ throat then he’s making mediocre songs about getting money. He used to be hot but not even his current beef with um…. everyone can bring back his career.

Winners: Lil’ Wayne, Jadakiss, and Rick Ross

50 vs. Fat Joe & The Game

Young Buck Crying

50 vs. Ja Rule

50 vs. Jadakiss

Pimpin Curly (50 Cent) vs. Rick Ross

50 vs. Nas

50 vs. Lil’ Wayne

7. Vida Guerra vs. The Game

Really, Game you couldn’t touch Vida with a ten foot pole! There are plenty of good rappers she could mess with if she wanted to get to the top. What foolishness were you trying to pull?

Winner: Vida Guerra

(Game Diss)

 ”Wouldn’t Get Far” (Vida Diss)

Bonus Round: Hmm…You know what battle I’d like to see… Jimmy vs. Rick (The kid that put him in a wheelchair on Degrassi)

Winner: Kick his ass Drake!

With the leak of two Timbo-produced joints from The Blueprint 3 confirming the tracklisting that made its way to the Internets last week, Jay-Z stans everywhere have been up in arms when faced with the reality that a follow-up to the ’01 original will lack production from the likes of Just Blaze (or Bink! for that matter), while also featuring newcomers such as KiD CuDi and Mr. Hudson. In a perfect world, here’s what the tracklisting to the feverishly anticipated album would look like:

1. Hand It Down Part 2 (Featuring Pain In Da Ass and J. Cole) (Produced by DJ Premier)

If President Obama was the hip-hop fan he claims to be, he’d pass a law mandating that every Jay-Z album begin with Pain In Da Ass doing his best Tony Montana impression, with a beat provided by Premo.

Jay also seems intent on letting J. Cole get some shine seeing as homey got on BP3 with only one mixtape to his name. At least this way, he’d do it in classic style. Hell, Jay wouldn’t even have to write his verses.

2. D.O.A. [Death of All Y'all] (Featuring T-Pain) (Produced by No I.D.)

The OG joint had Jay biting his tongue a bit too much. T-Pain on the hook would serve notice to everyone except for the rapper-turnt-sanga to kill that Auto-Tune’d noise. And then Hov could slip Pain one of his trademark build-you-up-and-break-you-down subliminals, kinda like what he did to mixtape Weezy.

After going at Auto-Tune, Jay could turn his attention to Jaz’s bum ass once again, as well as the always disrespectful Game (their new Hov diss is heat rocks, btw).

3. Run This Town (Featuring Beyonce) (Produced by Rich Harrison)

Forget Rihanna and her attempts at singing. Hov should’ve got at B, so she can be all up in the video (I’m thinking something along the lines of “Single Ladies” here) for this surefire radio single meant for z100.

And remember how go-go was supposed to be the next big thing in hip-hop? It didn’t quite pan out that way, but Jay can take another stab at it–after “Jockin’ Jay-Z” failed to get more spins–by recruiting the man best suited for bringing the sound (Harrison), thus rekindling the musical magic between Hov and his wifey.

4. Empire State of Mind (Featuring Nas) (Produced by L.E.S. and Wyldfyer)

Ms. Keys is cool and all, but early reports had the Lil’ Homey on the track instead. L.E.S. and Wyldfyer should handle the beat, as they’ve already been responsible for two of the dopest collabos between the two formerly feuding emcees. And it’s always entertaining to hear Nas continue to throw shots at Jay even when they’re on the same track.

5. Off That (Featuring Drake) (Produced by Timbaland)

This track is actually not that bad. Here, Jay gets all the money talk out of his system, all the while tapping into the Lil Wayne demographic with Drake’s cameo (i.e. the high school chicks who actually throw down on tix to see the “America’s Most Wanted Tour”). Oh, and Timbo spazzed on this beat.

6. U Don’t Know Part 3 (Featuring M.O.P. and DMX) (Produced by Just Blaze)

It’s the only series of songs to make the first two BPs, so why not the third one? Adding Crackhead Earl to the mix should up the ante (no pun intended), even if Danze and Fame ripped the beat to shreds already. This shit right here, though, would really make cats wan’ go and commit felonies.

7. Hate (Featuring Kanye West) (Produced by Kanye West)

Going by the title at least, this joint seems eerily similar to that cut from BP2 when a hungry Hov was rapping like he “got a chip on [his] shoulder the size of the Golden Nugget in Vegas.”

8. Real As It Gets (Featuring Young Jeezy) (Produced by Don Cannon)

Another actual cut from BP3, Don Cannon should be behind the boards for this instead of The Incredibles. Cannon usually brings out the best in Jeezy. Not to mention, he’s like a poor man’s version of Just Blaze so this would sorta help to fill the necessary Justin Smith quota for a Jay album.

9. Guess Who’s Back Again (Featuring Scarface and Beanie Sigel) (Produced by Kanye West)

“This Can’t Be Life.” “Guess Who’s Back.” “Some How, Some Way.”

10. Another Murder (Hidden Guest Verse) (Produced by Just Blaze)

“Back to Shawn Carter the hustler, Jay-Z is dead.”

Building on the theme from the Volume 3 standout, it’s the perfect way to end the Blueprint series, as Jay shifts roles from artist to robber baron executive.

So, naturally he’d have to pass the torch to someone right? J. Cole seems the right business move being a Roc Nation artist, but the natural heir is someone with actual Rocafella pedigree who isn’t best suited for weedcarrying duties (or in Hov’s case, washing his Jay-Z blue Lex bubble Maybach). Hence, Young Chris to close out the show.

And Just would have to produce this last track, after crafting the perfect sendoff for Jay with “My 1st Song.”

So yes, only ten tracks. Isn’t the GOAT album the true hip-hop blueprint, anyway?

Soulja Boy has officially joined the ranks of celebrity-related buffoonery; not that that’s out of character (see Exhibit A here), but with his recent self-promotion in self-indulgent spending, one can only wonder what goes on in the minds of unjustifiably successful artists when they purchase pendants worth a thousand words.

Yesterday, the prepubescent one five-hit wonder—you know you still have your fingers crossed—released a YouTube video, aptly titled “Rich Nigga Shit.” Apparently, this is the sixth installment of the web series, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to be schooled by a “Bird Walk”-ing teenager long enough to watch the others. Chalk it up to envy. The video debuts to a baffled audience—made up of you, me, and the rest of a struggling society amidst a severe economic downturn—his newly-acquired Black Diamond-Encrusted Remote Control Lamborghini Chain. Read it twice for full effect. It matches his actual black Lamborghini, so that when he’s not driving around in the luxury vehicle, and begins to freak out, wondering if he’ll ever amount to anything more than a scrawny kid with bad acne and a dream, he can look down at his chain, and realize…no, he won’t.

We can’t fault him for his behavior, however, because when elders speak, we’re to follow their lead, right? A few months ago, T-Pain released a photo showcasing his 10lb., 197kts big ass chain. And that’s not irony. If viewers found themselves having trouble identifying the monstrosity dangling from his neck, they could confidently fall back on their long-gone comprehension skills as a fifth-grade reader to help decipher. It simply reads, “Big Ass Chain,” a meaningful statement if there ever was one. It’s a good thing the Auto-Tune King didn’t use this fantastic marketing opportunity to “Save Darfur” or “Go Green,” because this makes way more sense. Plus, it’s trendy. And that’s what really matters.

Lastly, our favorite (that’s subjective) R&B singer Chris Brown made a few teeny-bopping TRL-er’s question why they forgave him in the first place (for the incident we shall not mention). At a Diddy party, nonetheless, he made the ill-timed decision to step out in public for the first time with a brand new, and severely insensitive, chain. The $300,000 diamond necklace, that reportedly took 218 days to make, declared “Oops!,” proving that the singer refused to wear his heart on his sleeve. Instead, it sat right beneath his chest and blinded oncoming traffic. In terms of making an apology, a shrug of the shoulders would have been just as effective. Meaning not at all.

This the future of music, people. That and buyer’s remorse.

A glimpse at Pharrell’s BBC Hunting Pattern Collection will remind you of the fact that rappers (Pharrell gets a pass as one) should not, in almost all cases, dabble with fashion.

Unfortunately, when they do pursue it, not only are the designs poor, but they make them overpriced and exclusive to online-only “boutiques” to hide the shoddy quality of the actual clothing. With brands rolling out their fall collections, here’s a glimpse of what’s on the horizon for existing labels and those that are sure to spring up as they follow in the footsteps of sorely missed Vokal.

CURRENT BRANDS

The Clipse (Play Cloths)

The duo will ditch the hipster set in favor of their natural audience: aspiring street merchants and neighborhood pushas. Cloths’ smuggling-friendly attire — including garments already impregnated with liquid coke! — will soon be seen on every street corner and airport smoking lounge.

T.I. (Akoo)

With Tip in the box until May, prison garb would be more fitting for the king of himself, at least. Mix in his stand-in and Grand Hustle patna Young Dro’s penchant for Sour Skittles pastels and the fall line of jumpsuits will take a decidedly candy paint look.

FUTURE BRANDS

Charles Hamilton (Sonic The Hamilton)

With Interscope forced to shelve his album, the label will look to recoup their investment by packaging a Sonic The Hamilton pop-up book with Tiger Beat in promotion of a tween boutique brand of Sonic tees.

T-Pain (Thr33 Ringz)

Sure to be a staple at swap meet and flea market circuses across the south, Pain’s brand of top hats and ringmaster jackets are necessities of sideshow swag.

Taz Arnold (The Nerdz Gang)

Armed with a Kanye co-sign and a Paris Fashion Week-stealing Leopard print tights, Taz will unleash his future line (named after his kiddie Crenshaw gang), catering to all Liberace-Lupe-She-Ra-Flashdance-Polo enthusiasts — who also happen to be Arabian cowboys. In other words, no one… except for maybe Kanye.

Usually when artist step outside their expected genres it is deemed as creative genius but this week artists have crossed genres and dropped records with let’s just say, the last person you would expect. Here is a rundown of some of those unexpected collabs.

Taylor Swift x T-Pain

For a spin on Country singer Taylor Swift’s hit “Love Story,” Swift and king autotune, T-Pain, collab on what they call a banger, “Thug Story.” With Swift’s high top Nikes, Pain’s “Big Ass Chain,” and autotune in the pocket, the video is pure comedy as the duo claim to be official rap stars.

Now I understand Pain’s purpose to gain more publicity and possibly more downloads, but what does Swift get out of this? Fulfillment of becoming a rapper? Whatever the reasoning, the lyrics are pretty funny if you can get pass hearing Swift rapping in her pre-puberty Kid Bopz voice. Here are some of my favorite lyrics: 

“I’m so gangster you can find me baking cookies at night/ You out clubbing?/ Well I just made Caramel Delights.”

“You can call me T-Sweezy now I’m a rap star.”

“You don’t wanna fight me…in my extra small white tee.” 

The Jonas Brothers x Common

On their forthcoming album, Lies, Vines and Trying Times, the Jonases solicit help from the Chicago rapper Common for the song entitled “Don’t Charge Me For the Crime,” telling MTV they wanted a “rapper who has some real meaningful lyrics.” 

Although questionable in credibility—it is the virgin Jo Bros talking about robbing a bank—the track is pretty decent, straying from the expected teeny bopper anthem. It isn’t Linkin Park but the boys try their hand in something new. Whether a hit or miss, forget Arab money, they definitely will be getting Disney money for this one. 

Mariah Carey x Gucci Mane

On Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” the songstress claims, “I need an MC” and apparently she found one—an underground rapper who has been killing the mixtape scene, Gucci Mane that is. It would be expected for Carey to choose a rapper known for going in on R&B remixes, Fabolous or Lil’ Wayne for instance, but instead she went to the “A” and brought the Trap Star to mainstream. The collab between the duo isn’t deafening but Gucci’s grunts and attempts to harmonize are. The song is bound to be played on every radio due to Mairah’s pop success on the charts, but it just proves her point, “You’re a mom and pop, I’m a corporation.” 

-Felicia Kelley

The line between art and satire has been further blurred. Earlier this week T-Pain featured the popular Saturday Night Live spoof song “On a Boat” in concert. “Poseidon, look at meee!” an inter-tubed T-Pain pleaded to the Greek God of the Sea.

The crowd even knew the vocoded lyrics by heart. At the the end of his solo, the Nappy Boy offered them an assist by starting “Believe me when I say…” to which the audience ecstatically finished, “I fucked a mermaid-eeaid-eeaid!”

The Lonely Island, the comedic trio behind SNL‘s Digital Shorts, have penned other online hits as well, such as “Dick in a Box,” “Jizz in My Pants” and “Like a Boss.” Their music, featured on their underappreciated debut album Incredibad, has ushered SNL into the digital age and is actually better than a lot of the music it pokes fun at.

Funny as it is to admit, “On a Boat” is an undeniable hit record—one that T-Pain should regularly work into his auto-tuned routine.

-Lukas Brekke-Miesner

Please don’t ask R&B legend Charlie Wilson about working with T-Pain UNLESS you’ve done your research.

“Every time I sit down with a writer, they always want to talk about working with T-Pain. T-Pain wrote for me before he got hot,” jokes Charlie Wilson when asked about the latest collaborations on Uncle Charlie. “In between that first album of his and this new one, he blew up. So now people always ask me what am I doing with T- Pain. I’ve worked T-Pain before and no one even asked about it.”

“Matter of fact, when I went to work with T-Pain he had a black board full of names,” recalls Wilson. “When I asked him what was that list for. He said those are the people waiting in line for a song. But I wouldn’t have to wait, because I showed him love early on. You feel me?”

We feel you.

Uncle Charlie, the second solo set by Wilson on Jive Records, is the follow up to 2005′s Gold certified Charlie, Last Name Wilson, where R. Kelly repaid Wilson for years of inspiration by taking on the role of executive producer. This time around Wilson, instead teams with Jamie Foxx (“Suppa Sexy”),The Underdogs (“Homeless”) and frequent Babyface collaborator Greg Pagani (“There Goes My Baby”) and delivers an album that rises to the occasion of being traditionally soulful yet still light-hearted enough to continue to garner the attention of younger fans. Rather than seek out the tenants of a more retro R&B sound, Wilson continues to bridge the soulful sounds that he’s become famous for with the flares of contemporary producers.

Wilson who is widely known as the former lead vocalist for the Gap Band has had a successful career. He continues to perform regularly and remains active in his community. However at age 56, his life changed drastically when he discovered he had prostate cancer during a routine screening.

“It was devastating when I got the news. I had to pick my face up off the floor. When you hear stuff like that, you think your life is over at that exact moment,” recalls Wilson of receiving the diagnosis that he had prostate cancer. “I thought I was going to die right then and there.”

Wilson had become one of the statistics that he now repeats as a sign of warning for other men, in particularly African-American men. “One in six American men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year where 1 in 3 African American men are diagnosed. Every three minutes we’re diagnosed with this disease,” warns Wilson. “So shouldn’t be looked at as something that couldn’t happen to you. It happened to me.

“The statistics are scary, but black men still aren’t talking about it,” explains Wilson. “A lot of brothers out there don’t get checked out because they think they can overcome anything or they think getting tested will take away from their ‘manhood’. Well, for years I’ve been performing, now its time to start informing. A man dies from this disease every 18 minutes. Prostate cancer is serious business.”

That said, Wilson remains optimistic. “My recovery from the surgery has been excellent,” says Wilson. “I couldn’t exactly ride a bicycle right away, but I’m feeling pretty good with the results. I’m loving life now more than ever.”

Since his battle with cancer, Wilson has now made it his mission to use his prominent name in the African-American community to spread the word on the importance of early detection for prostate cancer. He’s taken this message on the road with him as he begins a media and concert tour in support of his new CD which has included performances for American troops serving tours of duty in Iraq and Kuwait.

Uncle Charlie is in stores now. – Kevin R. Scott

We’ve all been there… I know I have. I just didn’t have the good sense to write a song about it. Well, leave it to Jamie Foxx to turn a night of regret into a hot song — and a Hype Williams-directed video. Watch the Academy Award-winning singer’s new video “Blame It (On The Alcohol)” featuring T-Pain, Samuel L. Jackson, Forest Whitaker, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ron Howard (yes, that Ron Howard aka Opie) below:

Atlantic Records’ artist Flo Rida broke digital download sales this week when his latest single “Right Round” debuted at number, selling over 636,000 downloads. Flo Rida shattered the record he set with his 2008 hit “Low” which scanned over 467,000 downloads. 

The track is currently ranked at #1 on the SoundScan Digital Song Chart, iTunes, Amazon, and Rhapsody.

Flo Rida will be releasing his next album R.O.O.T.S on March 31st

Scroll down to hear the record breaking track. 

Andy Samberg of Saturday Night Live and Lonely Island comedy troupe fame teamed up with Auto Tuner T-Pain to proclaim their love of being on a boat. Lonely Island will be releasing their full length comedy album Incredibad on February 10, 2009.

Check the hilarity below.

Seth Myers also had a hilariously honest take on the Michael Phelps “controversy.” Watch it below:

Curtis “5o Cent” Jackson has a cute face, a body solid as a rock, and the most captivating smile you’ve ever seen on a rapper. He’s gone from crack dealer to multi-millionaire. So why can’t he find a decent tailor.

Brandy

You forgot your spanx under that rock you recently crawled out from.

Soulja Boy

Soulja boy (tell em)…he’s just silly.

Ashanti

Correspondent: “Love the dress (yeah right) who is it by?”

Ashanti: “My Aunt Bonita made it for me. She runs a dress shop in her basement.”

Aubrey O’Day

T.I. once said that his lady has to be a ‘respectable freak‘. This is not what he meant. Please do not imitate this H.T.M (Hot Tranny Mess)

Teyana Taylor

“Google Me baby!” Not until you put on a real shoe….3 inches or better.

T-Pain

I have no words for this cat. Oh wait…modern day Minstrel show!

Lil Mama

And the Foolywang of the year award goes to…..

Much like the reports of Rick Ross formerly working as a corrections officer and Tyga repeatedly getting his chain snatched, 2008 will soon be a distant memory. But given the music industry’s penchant for repeating both successes and failures, I decided to compile a short list of the things that shouldn’t make it into next year.

1. Auto-Tune
I used to hate T-Pain and Lil Wayne. Now, not so much. However, henceforth they should be the only artists allowed to touch the zero setting on Auto-Tune.

2. Comebacks
With every artist trying to avoid the reality-show black hole that is VH1, quite a few attempted comebacks. Most failed. Check the SoundScan numbers for Nelly, LL Cool J and Janet Jackson if you don’t believe me.

3. Posers
I fully support hipster rappers who are true to themselves. What I can’t stand are the lames that jump on the bandwagon in an attempt to recreate success. You know who you are.

4. Ironic names
Although I appreciate creativity, knock it off with the dumb names – as in: The Cool Kids, The Knux and Black Kids.

5. Rappers.
There are just too many rappers.

But as half empty as the glass is, there are also a few things I do hope to see and hear more of in ’09.

1. Concept albums
I’ve been a sucker for a good concept album since Prince Paul’s A Prince Among Thieves. For 2008, 88 Keys‘ The Death of Adam hit that mark.

2. Comebacks
No misprint here. They can, in the right situation (Britney Spears, T.I., etc.), actually work.

3. Paying dues
Lil Wayne may have had a breakout year, but he was no Soulja Boy. That young man has been on his Internet grind for a minute, and his success is, well, kind of deserved.

4. Video game collabos
Any smart rapper can tell you that licensing tracks to game companies such as EA Sports and 2K Games is the best way to make money in today’s tumultuous music market. Plus, who doesn’t like kicking ass to a dope soundtrack?

5. Beyoncé music videos.
Need I say more?

It never feels good to be replaced. But when someone outshines you like the Blizzard Man did to T-Pain on this week’s Saturday Night Live. Sometimes you just have to give credit, where credit is due. Peep the video below:

Supergroups are a novel idea, just not a very realistic one.  If Nelly has his way though, an ‘09 Bell Biv Devoe will come to fruition, boasting membership from the rapper and hit-making amigos Akon, T-Pain, and Pharrell.  Success is definitely a toss-up, though.  The quartet could very well pump out a fair share of club bangers, but too many hooks (and a vocoder) could spoil the synthy broth.  Here are some dream lineups, though, whose chemistry would be undeniable:

Jay-Z x Kanye West x Scarface x Beanie Sigel

Kanye can just stay behind the boards for this one, flipping rare but timeless samples while the trio of emcees provide the same lyrical acrobatics that gave us classics such as “Guess Who’s Back” and “This Can’t Be Life.”

Diddy x DJ Khaled x Lil’ Jon

Seriously—an ad-lib match made in heaven.

“Take that.” “WE THE BEST!!!” “YEAH!!!” “Who?!? WE!!!!” “OK!!!”

Lil Wayne x Max B

The Martian meets Wavie Crockett.  Weezy’s stream-of-unconscience nonsense will flow smoothly with Max’s tidal wave of hooks (the man can harmonize anything).

Lupe Fiasco x Mickey Factz

If you can tell difference between them, then you need to stop using your Food & Liquor case as an ashtray… if you bought it, that is.

The Clipse x The Neptunes

We just need another album.  Speaking of which… !

-Devin Chanda