When Eminem’s new album Relapse leaked last week, we heard a combination of potent lyricism, pill-popping hysteria and murderous intent. Many were expecting a more well-rounded cathartic effort from a legendary emcee with a closet full of demons to exorcise, but instead we got the nasally rants of Eminem’s alter-ego, Slim Shady.

Though some love the brilliantly crazy canvas known as Relapse, many thought it lacked a soul. Thankfully, two rather introspective and personal bonus tracks just leaked today. Interestingly enough, these two cuts, “My Darling” and “Careful What You Wish For,” may be the album’s best songs.

“My Darling” features Eminem battling his demons, namely his Slim Shady alter-ego and Dr. Dre, over an ominous beat. They team up to convince Em that he needs to be crazy to be relevant—that his lunacy is the key to his success. Dre spits “It seems ever since you got off your drugs you’ve become a lot softer,” to which Em defends, “But Dre, all Shady is is a bottle of bleach and some vodka.”

Nevertheless, given how Relapse turned out, it would seem that Em lost the battle to Shady and Dre. It’s too bad too, because despite Slim’s manic flow and controversial buzz, Eminem has way more of substance to say.

“Careful What You Wish For” starts with news audio clips that bring us up to date with the drama that Em has weathered since Encore. There is his addiction to sleep medication, the shooting of Obie Trice, Proof’s murder, and Em’s hiatus/retirement. Then Em enters the fore with, “So this is it, this is what I wished for. But it just isn’t how I envisioned it, fame to the point of imprisonment.”

He comes off vulnerable, yet also able to transcend the pettiness that surrounds him. More than anything he is telling us an honest story— a cathartic exercise that can touch his fan base way more than the bulk of Relapse. He spits, “And this is real talk, I feel like the Incredible Hulk / My back has been broke and I can still walk.”

If Relapse teaches us anything it’s that he can definitely walk and rap, but that he is also admittedly broken. I’m glad Em is back, but hope he can win the battle with himself before it’s too late.

*Due to technical difficulties, click HERE to listen to Eminem’s two bonus tracks!

-Lukas Brekke-Miesner

Yesterday the Internets were ablaze with z-shares and zip files of Eminem’s much anticipated album, Relapse. It seems every release by any rapper of note leaks these days, but a May 7th leak for a May 19th release date can do a lot of damage—even to Eminem.

But, while most of the hip-hop blogosphere has already digested the album and decided whether or not they like it, some of us at GIANT think Eminem may have a game-changing trick up his sleeve.

If you’ve listened to Relapse then you know that the majority of the album is a maniacal and murderous marathon helmed by Em’s alter-ego Slim Shady. If this is actually the real album, then it leaves much to be desired. But would Em really return from a five-year self-imposed exile to drop a revved-up caricature of himself spitting about serial killing and pill-popping? We just don’t see it.

Our hypothesis is that this “Leak” is not the real album at all, just a collection of crazed throwaway tracks. Or perhaps it’s the mixtape that should have led up to the album’s release. Another theory is that the Relapse that hit the net yesterday is only disc one of a double album.

Em says it himself on the second to last track of the album. When Marshall drops off the final copy of Relapse to the always angry Steve Berman, Steve says “What’s this shit? Two CDs?” Em replies “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you man, it’s two albums.” Then he exits the room.

There have already been rumors that Mr. Mathers will drop two albums this year, but Relapse is too redundant and incomplete to be either of them in their entirety.

No Em, “We don’t believe you, you need more people!”

Marshall Mathers may be a bit crazy but he is also multi-faceted. We’ve heard very personal, political and insightful records from him before and he has been through way too much in his personal life to not come clean here.

Keep in mind that Em has dealt with prescription drug addiction, a second divorce from Kim, the adoption of a second daughter and the murder of his best friend ALL since his last album, Encore, came out. He has also raised his beloved and often-mentioned daughter Hailie Jade.

We find it highly unlikely that an Em comeback album would not meaningfully address Hailie or Proof. Would not berate Bush, kill Kim or critique society. Em’s pen game is still mean and his lyrics and storytelling are on point, but his genius has more meaningful content to address. Unfortunately outside of “Deja Vu” and “Beautiful” Relapse chooses to focus on a sick-minded marauder raping, pillaging and torturing innocent bystanders. Slim Shady may be a chainsaw-wielding psycho, but Eminem and Marshall Mathers are not.

Let us not overlook the fact that the reclusive perfectionist known as Dr. Dre would probably not make his return to hip-hop with these beats. Relapse‘s production isnt bad by any means, but none of the tracks are jaw-dropping sonic revelations.

Remember that Dre has been hibernating too. He has been cuddled up with Detox for the last eight years refusing to release it till its juuussst right.  We can’t imagine a scenario in which Dre would return to society with the batch of instrumentals featured on Relapse. He and Eminem are both capable of too much more.

The highly unlikely coup that could knock rap on its ass if it came to be, is if Detox is the second disc of Relapse. The theme would work to symmetrical perfection and Em could redeem himself over Dre’s dopest shit.

Maybe we’re just conspiracy theorists, but we can’t believe that one of rap’s GOATs would return just to rant and rave. We know that Eminem is doper than this and have a suspicion that his marketing genius is about to be revealed too.  For all the aforementioned reasons we are calling Relapse a Tour-de-Farce. If we’re wrong, chalk it up to our own paranoia.

But if we’re on to something, remember you read it here first.

-Lukas Brekke-Miesner

Just like we promised.