Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

1 1/2 Stars

Verdict: Skip It 

You don’t have to be a hardcore gamer to enjoy Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard. You just have to have played more than Wii’s Super Smash Bros. in order to understand all of the video game parodies in the game. But if you really want to enjoy the third person shooter, you’ll also need a to have a high tolerance for aggravation. 

The game finds you taking on the role of Matt Hazard, a former video game action star who since the era of 8-bit has been a video game icon. Signed to a lifetime deal with his game publisher, Hazard has also made a few mistakes in his career, starring in video games that even Nintendo’s corporate whore mascot Mario wouldn’t take. Hazard’s career takes a tumble until he’s called back into duty and featured in the Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard - the game you’re playing.  

If that all sounds a little meta to you, it’s because it is a little meta. Actually, it’s a lot meta.  

Whether the game works as a parody depends on how deeply you’ve been invested into video games since the 80s. Obvious nods like the generic zombie enemies, Mario and standard Japanese game adversaries provide some good moments of “Oh I know what you’re making fun of” and keep you playing to see who else developer D3 has worked into the title. 

At points, the story is a little disjointed, but it actually excels when compared to how Eat Lead actually plays. Where the game could have been the dose the of humor that the shooter genre needs, it’s marred by a clunky, unrefined control system which can make gameplay as frustrating as getting your Genesis unplugged when you’re on the last level of Sonic The Hedgehog.

While Hazard moves easily, his targeting often times feels “off.” What makes that even more frustrating is that enemies can spawn all around and so you’ll need to use a little strategy and knowledge of the game’s weapons to take down various foes, over and over again in some instances. But, since your targeting is already clunky and you’re fighting with slight better equipped enemies, your chances of success are slim and therefore you spend time replaying the same parts of levels. 

Level wise, Eat Lead‘s also a disappointment. Sterile, repetitive environments only add to the game’s overall status of mediocrity. Sure, one could (and keep in tune with the game’s meta-tactics) that the boring level design is meant to mock the third-person shooter genre, but since there are so many recent third person shooter games with excellent level design (Gears of War 2, anyone?) those points would be moot. 

Much like the parody flicks that run on Comedy Central on a Saturday afternoon, Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is one of those games that you’ll play if it’s just there and you can’t be bothered to find another disc.

But really, when has that ever happened?

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is available now on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.