A playlist that’s more than meets the eye.

If you’re a child of the ’80s or early ’90s like me, chances are that you spent every Saturday morning glued to the TV watching half-hour after half-hour of cheaply animated cartoons based on comic books, video games, music and sports stars while eating sugary breakfast cereals based on said cartoons. Seen in the harsh light of adulthood, it’s obvious that these cartoons were terrible wastes of time. Back then though, the were must-see TV and the theme songs were part of the soundtracks of our childhood. These days of course, Saturday morning cartoons have all but vanished from the airwaves in favor of Hannah Montana repeats.  So here’s a trip down memory lane with some of the best (and worst) theme songs from those more innocent times.

The Gummi Bears (1985-1991)

Hammerman (1991)

ProStars (1991)

Transformers (1984-1987)

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985)

Teen Wolf (1986-1988)

G.I. Joe (1985-1986)

The Real Ghostbusters (1986-1991)

Muppet Babies (1984-1991)

Darkwing Duck (1991-1995)

Enshrouded within the darkest cavern of my psyche is a secret. A rare and magical talent bequeathed to me by my forebears. Taking a look at me, you’d never know. Most of my closest friends don’t know who or what I truly am. But ply me with that enchanting elixir known as Patron silver and unleash the torrent of my true self—A KARAOKE CHAMPION THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU HAVE NEVER SEEEEEEN!!!!

Ahem, so here’s my playlist in no particular order. Yes, I know this dates me. Yes, I know my tastes skew a little… how should I say, gross? BUT MAN, I sing like how a unicorn would taste if you stewed in a crock-pot for days—magnificent. Or like chicken, depending on how sloshed I am.

10. “Mmm Bop” by Hanson.

9. “Ignition (Remix)” by R. Kelly.

8. “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog.

7. “Barbie” by Aqua.

6. “Rearview Mirror” by Pearl Jam.

5. “In da Club” by 50 Cent.

4. “A Little Respect” by Erasure.

3. “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song (extended version with the bit about begging and pleading with his mother, who I must mention isn’t the actress who actually plays his mother in the show. A continuity hiccup that only becomes more despicable with the Vivian switch).

2. “I Touch Myself” by The Divinyls.

1. “Lose Yourself” by Eminem (to be mumbled and then sung with compensatory gusto in the chorus bits).

*You will note that there is no Springsteen, Journey, Bohemian Rhapsody or Foreigner [curtsey].

I’m in St. Louis for the holidays. And like anyone from St. Louis knows, the most important detail for every STLien is where we went to high school. (Clayton High School, stand up! Greyhounds! Ladue High is some punks!!!) Needless to say, my best hip-hop memories are from those years in school—between 1998 and 2002 (though, whoa, did 2001 suck hard for rap). So here are the songs that helped get me through those days of endless homework and awkward make-out sessions.

1998

“Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)” – Jay-Z

“Back That Azz Up” – Juvenile

“Da Art of Storytellin’ (Part 2)” – OutKast

“How Ya Do Dat” – Young Bleed

“Gimme Some More” – Busta Rhymes

“I’ll Be Dat!” – Redman

“Definition” – Black Star

1999

“Get Rich to This” – Goodie Mob

“We On Fire” – Hot Boys

“85″ – Youngbloodz

“Forget About Dre” – Dr. Dre

“Any Man” – Eminem

“You Got Me” – The Roots

“Hate Me Now” – Nas

2000

“Move Somethin’” – Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek

“Heat” – Common

“Cherchez LaGhost” – Ghostface Killah

“Ebonics” – Big L

“Who Run It” – Three 6 Mafia

“It Ain’t Part II” – Scarface

“Oooh” – De La Soul

“Country Grammar (Hot Shit) – Nelly

2001

“Girls, Girls, Girls” – Jay-Z

Sometimes it’s cool to just be fueled by the boom-bip without following an MC’s lyrical ride. And these days, so many MCs are making their beats available as the main course. I pulled together some of my favs.

Tired of spooning? Here are few tracks that will have you ready to fork!

Minnie Riperton – “Inside My Love”

Lloyd -  “Party All Over Your Body”

Joi – “Lick”

Scarface – “Fuck Faces”

Prince – “Adore”

Janet Jackson – “Would You Mind”

Des’ree – “I’m Kissing You”

Marvin Gaye -  “Feel All My Love Inside”

R. Kelly – “Sex in the Kitchen”

The Isley Brothers – “Foot Steps in the Dark”

Art Of Noise – “Moments Of Love”

Usher – “Trading Places”

The holidays are here and I’m absolutely ecstatic!  Although I won’t be cooking this year, you may catch me playing DJ.  A great soundtrack seems to always be imperative at our family gatherings.  Check out my Thanksgiving playlist…it just might be yours too!

1.    Sly and The Family Stone: “If You Want Me to Stay”
2.    Ohio Players: “Ecstasy”
3.    Nina Simone: “My Baby Just Cares for Me”

4.    Jay-Z: “American Dreamin’”
5.    Bilal: “You’re All I Need (Feels Like Heaven)”
6.    Mary J Blige: “Can’t Hide From Love”
7.    D’Angelo: “Lady” (remix)

8.    Erykah Badu: “Soldier”
9.    Lauryn Hill: “Nothing Even Matters”
10.  Radiohead: “Weird Fishes”

Bonus track: Donny Hathaway: “Love, Love, Love”