Joey Crack Is Back! October 6th, 2009 marks the release date of Fat Joe’s 8th studio album JOSE (Jealous Ones Still Envy 2),which boasts the club worthy single “Aloha” featuring Pleasure P. His latest LP is bound to open ears and shut mouths (he really went in on this one). He says his inspiration for this album was to make it “Relevant and Hot.” The 12 song track-listing includes both dance and straight hip-hop records. It features artists such as Lil’Wayne, Swizz Beatz, T-pain, Lil’Kim, OZ, Raekwon and more. After listening, you will agree that 50 cent didn’t fully succeed in ruining this Bronx natives career. Joey won’t let Pimpin’ Curly Ja-Rule him.

So before you Judge, listen to the album because it’s definitely certified CRACK!

PS- The album release party at the old EMI building was impressive. There was a full buffet in the back of the room and get this, Remy Martin was the signature alcohol for the evening. [Laughs] 

 Fat Joe – Jealous Ones Still Envy 2 (J.O.S.E. 2), EMI/Terror Squad

Track Listing:

1. Winding On Me” ft. Lil Wayne & Ron Browz
2. Joey Don’t Do It”
3 .One” ft. Akon
4. Aloha” ft. Pleasure P & Rico Love
5 .Put You In The Game” ft. T-Pain & OZ
6. Congratulations” ft. Rico Love & T.A.
7. Porn Star” ft. Lil Kim
8. Cupcake” ft. Benisour
9. Ice Cream” ft. Raekwon & T.A.
10. Okay Okay”
11.Blackout” ft. Swizz Beatz & Rob Cash (of K.A.R.)
12.Music” ft. Cherlise

                                                                                                    -Brandyn Orlando

There’s been no shortage of clothing lines by rappers over the years, but when you consider the ones that have actually survived the times, well, that’s a completely different story. The likes of Rocawear, Sean John, and (somehow) Phat Farm have been going on for a decade strong, mainly because of the lasting legacies of the personalities behind the brands.

Thus, it was the lines by rappers-of-the-moment trying to cash in that came and went, but even some big names couldn’t make their clothing work when they themselves always looked as if they couldn’t dress themselves. Here’s GIANT’s look back on all the lines that have faded into oblivion.

Most rappers rhyme about being the next MJ, but we’ve seen hoop dreams deflate like a true fiend’s weight (no Weezy). Without succeeding in the rap game, here are a number sports where the following emcees would see greatness.

Drake (Wheelchair Basketball)

The only question would be whether the back of his jersey will read “Graham” or “Brooks.” For reasons of nostalgia, we’d like to see the latter.

T.I. (Riflery)

His passion for the sport—going as far as participating in it in shopping mall parking lots—has him sitting in the jail for the next year.

Fat Joe (Sumo Wrestling)

Because he’s fat.

Max B (Surfing)

Because he’s wavy.

Rick Ross (Baseball)

Because he’s a fraud.

• Sidebar: The Clipse could continue their profession as drug dealers by pushing Balco and badges to The Boss.

Kanye West (Mascot/Cheerleader)

Nobody is better at shamelessly promoting his own cause or that of his homies. “I believe Drake has the potential to be bigger than me, to be one of the most important wheelchair basketball players of his generation.”

Asher Roth (Ultimate Frisbee)

Asher seems to enjoy becoming a caricature of college leisure. We will aid his effort by allowing him to frolic barefoot on the lawn with some brews and his brosefs.

Charles Hamilton (Tetherball)

Tetherball, as you may know, doesn’t require any friends.

Consequence (Wood Chopping)

Well, we went there.

- Lukas Brekke-Miesner, Devin Chanda & Shahendra Ohneswere

Trey Songz released the video for his second single “Brand New” off of the upcoming album Ready. Keeping in step with most of today’s R&B artists, Songz’s crooning consists of Auto-Tune usage and artless lines like: “Shawty brand new / fresh out the box / I think she came here with her girlfriend.” The video follows Trey as he prepares for a show scheduled for later that night. While the first scene is odd—Songz finishes off a meal of apples and NUVO, while refusing to rise from his seat even as a faceless woman saunters by and an eager assistant tries to pick out his outfit—the second scene, a shirtless bathroom routine, makes up for it—at least for the ladies. Peep the cameos made by Bryan Michael Cox, Fat Joe, DJ Khaled, Angel Lola Luv, Jim Jones, and more.

- Danielle Cheesman

Trey Songz – Brand New

After hearing “Hey Joe” (listen to the track below), I have to wonder why more producers haven’t already swarmed Jimi Hendrix’s catalog looking for samples to flip.

DJ Infamous, the song’s producer, could’ve given this track to damn near anybody named Joe and had a winner, even though he’s playing with fire squeezing the juice from such a classic work from the rock legend. Alas, a banger finds Fat Joe once again. How does this guy get this lucky? - Pharoh Martin

Having already detailed the headshaking moments to come with this list, we thought we’d take a look back at past hip-hop artists whose acting has sullied what could have been otherwise solid flicks.

10. Busta Rhymes in Shaft

I can see why Sam Jackson hates working with rappers in movies. Busta screamed in his ear in damn near every scene. Bless you, Sam. You also worked with 50 in Home Of The Brave.

9. 50 Cent in Home of the Brave

Fiddy + Iraq war drama + human emotion – Tony Yayo = confusion. That’s all.

8. Snoop Dogg in Starsky & Hutch

Granted, everyone in this movie version of a popular ’70s TV show was bad, but Huggie Bear was the role that Snoop was born to play. He does it every waking moment of his life. How could he not do it on camera?

7. Method Man in The Wackness

How are you the ONLY rapper-turned-actor in a movie about an era in which you were a star and still manage to fuck it up? Come on, Meth!

The Jamaican accent? You were on The Wire, for God’s sake.

(Not that I ever watched that show.)

6. Fat Joe in Empire

I love Joey Crack as an emcee. He’s so menacing that I hesitated to include him on this list. That said, anyone who makes John Leguizamo look like a young Bobby DeNiro in comparison is a terrible actor.

5. Dr. Dre in Training Day

Mind you, this is the film that earned Denzel Washington an Oscar for Best Actor. Dr. Dre’s performance in Training Day wasn’t especially bad. It was that he was just playing himself instead of a crooked cop. So rather than seeing Andre Young on screen echoing the sentiments renegade cops like the ones seen in Serpico, Infernal Affairs, or L.A. Confidential, he simply came off as the guy who slapped Dee Barnes.

4. LL Cool J in S.W.A.T.

LL in In The House was dope. It was like Charles in Charge, but with LL Cool J. LL Cool J as an member of a tactical police unit? That’s like trying to convince us that “Headsprung” was going to the next big slang word.

3. The RZA in Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai

No wait, The RZA’s seven second cameo in Jim Jarmuch’s tripped out film about an urban samurai was actually one of the best parts.

Speaking of the The RZA, he also held his own in the Clive Owen/Jennifer Aniston flick Derailed, unlike fellow rapper ternt actor, Xzibit.

Mr. X to the Z was the most non-threatening villain to grace the screen simply for that fact that he pulled that annoying Jimmy Fallon thing where he looks at the camera like when he was pimpin’ rides for MTV.

2. Ja Rule in The Fast and the Furious

Raise your hand if you remember Ja Rule. Ok, all six of you can put your hands down.

If you take The Fast and Furious for what it was, an endorsement for Honda then it’s actually not a bad movie. Unless of course, you take Rule’s cameo as an illegal street racer into account. Ja Rule fronting like he was a legit racer was almost has bad as him posing like he was a legit R&B singer rapper.

1. DMX in every movie that DMX has ever appeared in.

Aside from being unintentionally hilarious, do you know what Belly, Romeo Must Die, Exit Wounds Cradle 2 the Grave, and Never Die Alone all have in common?

That’s right, DMX’s “Oscar worthy” performances.

Much like Dr. Dre in Training Day, Earl Simmons’s range as an actor only goes as far as his range as his rapper alter-ego. So while his character may have had the potential to show some depth, they always ending up looking like he’s waiting for the opportunity to bark at the camera times or rail on Nas.

But if you’re worried that X’s recent legal problems will take him away from the screen, rest easy as he’s got a few more projects in the works, including the release of the straight to video flick Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent.

Yeah, that’ll be good.

Check back soon for GIANT’s list of rappers that actually made movies worth watching.