Music blogs are like assholes-everyone has one. And though these Web sites tend to vary in genre, style, taste and often a proper understanding of grammar, they do (like the aforementioned orifice) serve a distinct purpose: Blogs (unlike your ass) let you share your thoughts, rants and raves about music and pop culture.

In a time when we’re used to getting all of our information yesterday (this column will probably be irrelevant by the time you finish reading it), blogs-when they’re good-can often be a valuable resource to artists, their labels, their publicists and recovering music addicts like myself. I have been put on to more than a few artists thanks to diligent bloggers such as That Grape Juice, Stereogum and Nah Right who know good music when they hear it. And shout-out to all the other bloggers who really make it their business to bring us thought-provoking content and new music with consistency and authority.

But for every dope blogger, there’s a Tom, Dick and Hakim who decides that Lil Wayne (not Jay-Z) is the greatest MC alive or that the new Ne-Yo is the worst thing ever. And they know because…THEY KNOW! Those wordsmiths wax poetic about how overrated everyone is, but in reality, they’re jealous fans who once had dreams of being or being with an R&B chick. To all those “professional haters,” I humbly submit this question: Just because you have a music blog, do you really think we need to read it? Much like your butt, it’s probably not something everyone wants to see. Now, that’s just my opinion.

Everytime there’s a political sex scandal, people across the nation freak out – - like it doesn’t happen all. The. Time. One might even argue that a lot of time and trouble could be saved if we all just acknowledged the fact that some politicians cheat. Regular people cheat too. So, you know, quit acting so surprised. Here’s a brief rundown of famous government scandals and the jump-offs that caused them.

JOHN F. KENNEDY AND MARILYN MONROE

Late US President John F. Kennedy and legendary pinup Marilyn Monroe were famously getting it on while he was around. Maybe no one cared as much back then, cause he was a pretty great guy. And great guys deserve great birthday presents….

MARION BARRY SMOKES CRACK, LIKES ‘TUTES

Q: Who makes more money – a drug dealer, or a prostitute?
A: A prostitute, cause she can wash her crack, and sell it again.
Marion Barry: “I know that’s right!”

Marion Barry is probably the first guy to pull a Spitzer (being secretly recorded, that is). The former Washington, D.C. mayor was not only busting pipes; he was smoking them. And it was all caught on hidden camera! Guess Barry was getting the best of both worlds. Check out this video from his 1990 prostitute-buying, crack-smoking fiasco.

BILL CLINTON AND MONICA LEWINSKY

A short history:

• Wealthy girl from California is overweight, wears too much makeup in high school, has a reputation for being wack but thinking she’s cool.
• Gets the ultimate job: Interning for the President of the United States of America.
• Turns the ultimate job into the ultimate way of getting attention: President third-bases her with a cigar, nuts on her dress.
• Girl saves dress and tells her friend all about the hookup over the phone.
• Friend tapes the conversation and tells everybody.

This wasn’t planned at all.

President says what any guy would say:
“Who? Her? Hell naw, I didn’t touch that.”

Nation calls his bluff, everyone sees semen-y dress. President realizes the jig is up:
“Oh snap, you meant THAT Monica Lewinsky. Hm. Yea. I did screw around with her a little. My bad, yall.”

RUDY GIULIANI SCREWS AROUND WITH STAFFER, SCREWS UP MARRIAGE

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani was married to Donna Hanover for 16 years before they got divorced. Donna Hanover, being a chick with balls, had no problem telling the public,
“Yea, my marriage went downhill, and it was largely due to THIS ho” :

…former City Hall communications director Cristyne Lategano.

To the public, Cristyne and Rudy were like, “dog, we have NO idea where she got that from,” but they’d been romantically linked for a good, long while. Whether the scandal was true or not (they never admitted to it), Hanover said f-it and moved on with her life, becoming a figure on morning news show Good Day New York.

JIM MCGREEVEY’S A GAY AMERICAN, AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE SKANKY PART

One day in 2004, a guy named Golan Cipel decided to file a sexual harrassment suit against New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey. Much like the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, McGreevey decides to bite the pillow bullet and both come clean and resign, confessing to the nation, “I am a gay American.”

Well, no shit.

But that’s not the part that got everyone (except for Mrs. McGreevey, naturally) all ticked off. As it turned out, the guy he was banging was his former homeland security advisor Golan Cipel, a dude who was not only unqualified for such a high position, but was also not a United States citizen. In reality, he was just some dude that McGreevey met on a trip to Israel, used taxpayer money to employ, then fired in 2002. So Cipel got pissed and outed him via a sexual harrassment suit, and now neither of them are U.S. government officials. Burn!

KWAME KILPATRICK, SCRIPPAS, AND CHRISTINE BEATTY

Anyone who watches Law & Order knows that the government is constantly monitoring us. So when you’re a government official, shouldn’t you just know that some moves are stupid ones? Apparently Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick doesn’t.

What makes this dude awesome is that he keeps doing skanky shit and getting away with it, either cause everyone in Detroit loves him that much or there’s just no one better out there. In 2002 he decided to host a huge party in city-owned mayor’s crib Manoogian Mansion, complete with policement, government officials, and a ton of strippers. As if that wasn’t a dumb enough idea (while there’s nothin wrong with a stripper party, not every tax-paying citizen is down for their mayor having one in the government mansion, for chrissakes), Kilpatrick got caught up in even heavier scandal when one of the dancers ended up dead and, evidently, by the same firearms Detroit police officials use.

However, instead of living this party foul down gracefully, Kilpatrick makes his own block even hotter by shacking up with Christine Beatty, his chief of staff, and the two text-sex their way back into the news. After the government tracked down over 14,000 illicit texts between the two, Beatty resigned, and Kilpatrick was like, “um…my bad.”

I mean, at this point, what else was he gonna say?

Breathe easy, Spitz. It’ll all be over soon.

Mimobots are the result of what happens when designer toy brand and a computer company engage in geek copulation to produce “designer USB flash drives.” So what makes it so awesome? Read what we think and then tell us what you think in this latest edition of Nerd Debate.

USB flash drives are the new floppy disks. They’re little, can fit in your pocket or on your keychain or pen, and can connect to just about any computer. That said, they’re so damn convenient that one now has even fewer excuses for not turning in papers on time. Mimobots are like the King Cheese of flash drives – they’re designed to look like little cartoon monsters and movie characters and whathaveyou, presumably so you have something to smile at while you up/download files. If not smile, I’m not quite sure what its purpose is. All I know is that I have one, I love it, and it makes me legitimately, inexplicably happy. The great thing is, it doesn’t cost more than other USBs, and at the low, low price of looking like a dorkthong simply for ignoring the 30 Best Buys you probably passed to get to the specialty store carrying the Mimobots Star Wars edition, you, too, can have a Mimobot of your very own.

So are they really that great, or am I just really wack? It’s okay, I can handle the truth. Check all the lines out on www.mimoco.com. They also have accessories. No, seriously.