In Theaters: May 15, 2009

Reviews of Angels & Demons and The Brothers Bloom

Angels & Demons
Directed by Ron Howard
Starring Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgard
**

If you place them side-by-side, the plot of Angels & Demons—the second movie adaptation of a Dan Brown novel after 2006’s The Da Vinci Code—really isn’t any more ridiculous than the new Star Trek film.  J.J. Abrams, after all, asks us to ignore a number of gaping plot holes, most notably how a futuristic Romulan mining ship was able to move about the galaxy undetected for 25 years or why cadet James T. Kirk (as well as the rest of his green-around-the-ears crew) would instantly be handed his own ship despite having barely graduated from Starfleet Academy.  While it doesn’t take place in outer space, Angels & Demons is similarly absent of any earthly logic.

Taking place over a roughly 24-hour period, the basic narrative involves a manhunt through the streets and churches of Rome in pursuit of an agent of the Illuminati—the shadowy organization that every major conspiracy in the world is blamed on—who plans to bring down the Catholic Church by detonating an anti-matter bomb in the heart of Vatican City.  The only man who can save the day is Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), an expert at decoding the centuries-old riddles and clues that will point to the location of the device.  Assisting him in his Mission: Improbable is a sexy Swiss scientist (Ayelet Zurer), a grizzled Italian police officer (Pierfrancesco Favino) and the deceased Pope’s personal assistant (Ewan McGregor) who seems to be support Langdon’s investigation but may have his own agenda…

Like Star Trek, Angels & Demons employs a frenetic ticking-clock pace to distract the audience from its narrative absurdities.  But Trek offered a number of other pleasures as well, including lots of humor, exciting brawls and lively performances from a fresh-faced cast.  This movie has none of those things; it’s a glum, by-the-numbers potboiler distinguished only by its admittedly handsome production values.  Director Ron Howard is nothing if not a skilled craftsman and he puts his sizable budget to good use.  To his credit, he also takes great care not to repeat some of the mistakes he made with his botched Da Vinci Code adaptation.  For one thing, there are none of the leaden monologues and drawn-out expository conversations that turned that film the perfect cure for insomnia.  Much of the exposition here is delivered on the run, so even if you miss what exactly it is that the characters are trying to achieve, you’ll see them achieve it a few moments later.  Besides, Howard knows that the details are too perpostrous to explain at length anyway; best just to keep the characters in motion and let viewers pick the story apart later.

What the movie’s speed can’t cover up, however, is what a boring hero Hanks’ Robert Langdon turns out to be.  On the page at least, Langdon always came across as Indiana Jones’ tweedier brother–more book smart, but competent in a tight spot and not without a certain charisma.  In Hanks’ hands though, he’s a cipher with no apparent inner life.  The rest of the characters are similarly sketchy and none of the actors are able to fill in the blanks left by the underwritten screenplay.  Early on, it appears that McGregor might be able to carve out a convincing dramatic performance amidst all the contrivances until a final plot twist renders every action he’s taken up to that point entirely nonsensical.  If you’re in the mood for a silly summer blockbuster, give this one a miss and go see Star Trek again.  At least it serves up its logic-challenged tale with a smile.

Verdict: Skip It

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Also in Theaters

The Brothers Bloom
Directed by Rian Johnson
Starring Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz, Rinko Kikutchi
***

Originally set to hit theaters last fall, Rian Johnson’s sharp, funny caper flick had its release date changed twice before finally being dumped into multiplexes just as blockbuster season is ramping up, which means its box-office fate is more or less sealed.  Still, it’s a shame to think that crap like Angels & Demons will gross more in a single weekend than The Brothers Bloom will bank in its entire theatrical and DVD run.  And I guarantee that anyone who does seek this film out will have a much better time than the glum crowd exiting Howard’s slick, but stupid thriller.  Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo play a pair of sibling con-men who set their sights on a wealthy heiress (Rachel Weisz) with a taste for adventure.  Also along for the ride is the Blooms’ right-hand girl Bang Bang (Japanese actress Rinko Kikuchi), who has an extensive knowledge of weapons and explosives.  The entire cast delivers strong performances, but Weisz in particular is a revelation.  Normally trapped playing the perpetually teary wife/girlfriend in overbearing melodramas, the actress displays a terrific flair for comedy here; some smart casting agent should hook her up with Judd Apatow pronto.  Apart from a final act that gets a little too heavy-handed for its own good, Johnson keeps the proceedings light and jaunty throughout, throwing in plot twists that are surprising without being entirely illogical…unlike the ones in, say, Angels & Demons.  If you’re in need of a temporary break from blockbuster bloat, The Brothers Bloom fits the bill nicely.
Verdict: See It

The Big Shot-Caller
Directed by Marlene Rhein
Starring David Rhein, Marlene Rhein,
*1/2
Produced on a shoestring budget, The Big Shot Caller is one of those labors of love you almost feel bad for disliking.  Too bad it’s such a stiffly acted and dramatically flat effort from writer/director/actor Marlene Rhein, making her feature filmmaking debut after a lengthy string of music videos for artists like 2Pac and Amy Winehouse.  Rhein’s brother David stars in the film as Jamie, a reclusive office drone with an eye problem who grew up wanting to be a professional salsa dancer, but never had the courage to follow through on that dream.  After years of keeping the world at a distance, Jamie starts to open up when he falls in love with a lovely dance student.  Unfortunately, his new relationship ends as quickly as it began and he plunges into a depression that costs him his job and his apartment.  Enter his long-lost sister Lianne (played by Rhein herself), who has her own relationship issues and is more than happy to impart her lessons to her younger sibling.  Although they don’t embarrass themselves, neither Rhein is a strong enough actor to make the clichéd screenplay feel remotely fresh.  It doesn’t help that Jamie comes across as a mopey, self-absorbed stick-in-the-mud; frankly, it’s hard to fault the other characters for not wanting to spend time with him.  By the time the movie ends, you’ll be happy to be out of his company as well.
Verdict: Skip It