COLD CASE FILES:Which Came First, The R&B Singer Or Sex?
In the COLD CASE FILES, you’ll find unexplained events, circumstances, or disputes. Here at GIANT, we don’t believe in leaving things open and unsettled-so I have set fourth to review all the evidence and render a verdict on these specific topics. Go there with me if you dare!
Usually we question which came first, the chicken or the egg (I’m going to say the chicken), but this time around another inquiry comes to mind. In light of Trey Songz “inventing sex,” one would have to wonder which came first- the R&B singer or sex (mind boggling isn’t it)? Trey isn’t the first to brag about such qualities. There have been many before him and will be plenty after him. So, here’s what we are going to do- let’s take a look at some of our favorite love crooners and examine them closely to see which one came before the other!
Batting first is of course Mr. Songz>
Evidence Entries 1-3-”Invented Sex,” “Scratchin’ Me Up,” “In The Middle”
“Girl can we take it upstairs? My bed is waiting there. All I want to do is give me all of you, won’t you give me all of you?”
Verdict: Due to the facts and evidence given, duh! Trey came before sex!
Next is Chris Brown>
Evidence Entries 1-3-”Take You Down,” “Sing Like Me,” “Back To The Crib”
“Pretty girl lets take it off in this room, no time to waste girl you know what we came to do”
Verdict: Sorry Chris- sex came before you. A little more practice though and you might be able to invent some sex!
Third To Bat> Usher
Evident Entries 1-3- “Nice and Slow,” “Trading Places,” “Bedtime”
“I’m dying to taste you, I cant deny. Can’t get it out of my mind, please let me hold you because I need your loving tonight!”
Verdict: Usher may be an old-head now, but with a classic song like “Nice and Slow,” it’s obvious Usher came before sex!
Our Pinch Hitters> Pretty Ricky
Evidence Entries 1-3- “Juicy,” “Love Like Honey,” “Play House”
“I’m tasting every drop like at the candy shop, I lick your lollipop, I’ll put that thang on lock. Ill let you climb onto and let that nookie pop”
Verdict: Sex came before Pretty Ricky, but they’re on their way to making the bed rock!
Lastly: (Cue drums in the background) R.Kelly>
Evidence Entires 1-3- “Sex Me,” “Honey Love,” “Bump N’ Grind”
“There’s something in your eyes baby, telling me you want me baby, tonight is your night. See you don’t have to ask for nothing I’ll give you everything you need. so girl don’t be shy.”
Verdict: What a no-brainer! R.Kelly definitly came before sex. In fact- sorry Trey, Kellz Invented it!










Comments
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You gotta hear what this dude said about this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8KDqhbsdx0
these are examples that prove R&B music is in trouble. It’s all sex recycled over and over….no creativity in songwriting.
Should we give him credit for inventing celebrity kiddie porn videos too???